Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Tasha's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, May 12th, 2007
2:02 pm	well hello there reader... its been a while :-) its been an eventful few weeks for me... as always the grandma's health problems keep me on edge, but i must say i think she has improved some... i've also had to keep my daddy on track too, he had a harder time than i thought he would with the death of his sister, i mean they werent really close or at least not anymore but apparently they had been in past years... the biggest stressor in my life right now is school, i've worked my ass off for the past several semesters trying to get back into appalachian, however i'm not sure if i'll make it for summer or if i'll be waiting til fall... i just wish all the pieces would fall into place... work is not getting any better, they have cut my hours so drastically, that i will not have enough pay to cover my insurance let alone to live on... i guess i'm going to have to take a bunch of my personal/vacation time... speaking of vacations, i am excited to report that i have two fun ones coming up uber soon! i am going with maria and her family to pigeon forge for a week and we are going to do all of those things i never have done up there like all of those lil ripleys things and what not... it is going to be entirely too much fun :-) then i come back for a few days or well not really back because in the midst of all that i have my audition for the music program at appalachian, and then i head to nashville for cma fanfest... that is going to be the most kick ass experience ever... so for once i can honestly say that all is not lost in my world, still a bit dishevelled but not lost.... and as alway i am very happy to report that i have now and forever the greatest group of friends ever :-D i am so blessed!!! oh btw check out the new hair :-) Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
Monday, January 8th, 2007
4:24 pm	fuck parking lots... so today was the first day back to school for me and gosh was it stressful...i felt as tho everyone was out to get me lol i dont know what it was that made me feel that way other than almost getting squashed 10 times while driving around looking for a damned parking spot lol... none the less i survived and i think my classes will be a lot of fun... i am totally looking forward to it if i can get used to the lack of parking... so i have been doing a lot of thinking and self searching here lately and have come to realize several things... i realize that i'm not really happy with how life is right now... dont get me wrong i love my friends and family and all that we do together and for each other but i'm talking about me personally outside of others.... i am ready to be done with the whole damn school thing and be a "grown up" whatever that is :-p.... i have also realized that i've been putting things in the wrong order as far as my priorities go and i'm going to change that... anyways i know you guys hate these prophetic tasha posts so i'll close on this one and say i love you all way too much and can't wait to see you guys!!!!!! love and kisses!!! Always, Tasha Current Mood: geeky Current Music: all american rejects (Comment on this)
Monday, November 6th, 2006
10:42 pm	so yeah its been forever since i've posted anything but really nothing all that exciting has happened... life has been like a whirlwind for me... two months have passed in what feels like a week... i have zero free time these days...i guess that goes with being a "grown up"... damn i hate to think i have come to that point... on a really happy note AJ is moving home in december... i am too excited about that one!!! i may get to see josh this weekend that would be key too!!! of course you know how all us crazies come out for drag show weekend up at app :-p so i'm single again...in one way it sort of stinks because i'm definitely a relationship kind of person but on the other its sort of a freeing feeling to think that i am not tied down to a single person... lol i am too flipping wishy washy.... but maybe that just adds to my " charm" lol uh huh SURE :-p CMA's are on tonite but ehhh not in the mood... i did find it interesting however that michelle branch is now a country singer... i love her new duo but i cannot believe i had not caught on that it was her before... well anyways i guess i need to head to bed gottta get up uber early tomorrow BOO lol but ohhh well!!! i love nad miss you guys too much!!!! :-* love and kisses always!!!! Current Mood: okay Current Music: collecting dust by paulina somebody (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 23rd, 2006
11:07 pm	hehehehehehe tgoday has been too fun mb got married and yeah its too sweet her and jody are sooo cute together and well yeah then i was sad or sort of melancholy about the whole situation...so i decided to take off and go to boone for a day or so :-) donald and i are having fun and YES good boys can get into trouble believe it or not :-p Current Mood: drunk Current Music: some loud movie in thnext room (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 17th, 2006
2:07 am	~the rambling insomniac~ i dont know whats going on in my mind...my head is full of far too many thoughts, far too many ideas, too many problems, to many worries, too many solutions...its impossible for me to sleep when i feel like this...i feel like my body is trying to escape my skin...like i've had all i can take...i feel sort of like running away...i need to find my safe haven...my comfort zone...my life is crumbling before my eyes and i dont know how to control it...how does one take control over a life lost? how do i go about finding my way...i have no direction, no nothing...all i can hope is that someday i can find my resolution to all this...i'm sure you all can tell that i'm penning this in the early morning/late night however you prefer it...simply because its more then likely senseless, even tho to me it makes perfect sense...just know that i love you all...you guys are really what makes me smile, laugh, and keeps what little sanity i have left in tact.... Always, ~the rambling insomniac~ Current Mood: discontent Current Music: addicted kelly clarkson (Comment on this)
Monday, July 17th, 2006
10:27 pm	its weird... but all of a sudden i feel pretty...that rarely happens so i thought i'd let you guys know lol...i miss and love all of you...will repost for real soon!! Current Mood: shocked Current Music: promiscuous....nelly furtado (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
9:26 am	yes i know its early... yes i know its early in the day but so far i'm having a much better day :-)i only have two classes today which totally rocks and then on top of that some of this school stuff is actually making it into my little brain so i might actually do well :-D but lets knock on some wood there just incase...i have discovered something about myself here lately...as much as i have loved being single all this time...i am officially tired of it...i want someone to talk to...to cuddle with...to become best friends with...would it be cliche' to say that "i want the fairytale" and yes i know that is a line from pretty woman :-p i am horrible at this whole dating thing tho...it seems like everyone who tries to get close i push away...maybe i should just let things run their course...i mean who am i to try to take control...God has a method to his maddness...so offically i am letting that take control...now life is going to be fly by the seat of my pants, let it happen as it happens, care free and fun...another reason i have been so depressed here lately is my grandparents...my great grandmother is super sweet and always there for me...but they just found out she may have lung cancer...she is 87 so the doctor says even if she does there is nothing to do about it...and then there is my actual grandmother...not the healthiest thing either, but she should be able to care for herself... here lately tho she hollars for me and daddy to do it all and stays in the bed and then when she doesnt get her way or we just plain dont do whatever she wants done then we catch hell...like she threatened to burn down our house on sunday, told me if i dont make perfect A's from now on that i am out of her life, and then told me i was a whore for dating around...wtf is up with that??? i really need to get out of this atmosphere...i've already decided that whether i go to college or not, i'm moving up to boone in august...even if i have to take it one class at a time and work...i just cannot and will not live in unhappiness...hmmm my brain sure is bustling this morning lololol i can't wait to be a teacher now either...i'm finally taking some education classes and i LOVE it...so anyway i've got to run and get ready for my day but thought i would let you guys know that i'm not so GRRRR today :-) and that I LOVE YOU ALL DEARLY!!!!! Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: yesterdays episode of general hospital (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
10:31 pm	so ya had a bad day.... ever felt like the world was just leaving you behind, like you had no place to run, no means of escape?? i really feel like that here lately...i dont want to bore anyone with the details of it all...i dont want to seem petty either...its just one of those times in life where i feel unloved and unwanted by everyone...well except for a select few who always show their love ( LOVE YOU TOO)...life has just gotten to be overwhelming...i'm unhappy in this place...i have got to figure something out... Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: Bad Day (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 7th, 2006
7:39 am	been too long... its been too long since i have updated this thing...but honestly not a lot has happened in my life...lets see i'm basically done with concert choir, i mean we had our two main concerts, and now all we have to do is go to charleston and since...but i dont know if i'll go on that trip or not...we are also making a cd to be sold in stores how cool is that :-p. school is almost over THANK GOD!!! i have one online exam and one regular final left to do...and then a flute recital and i'm golden...i've taken all of my flute lessons for the year, and i already miss it...its insane how much i will miss those lessons and time with katherine...she is such an interesting person...home depot has basically given me the shaft i mean they have gotten as close as they can to laying me off without actually laying me off...like i get 3 hrs a week :-( it sucks being poor...i need a job...a REAL job lol...also i'm stressing about this whole getting back to app thing...i mean i cant officially hear anything until i get my final blue ridge transcripts in and then that will still take 3 weeks to hear from...i dunno what i'm gonna do **SIGH** but anyway its off to my one day a week of work oh and did i mention its only for 3hrs...fuck you home depot... Current Mood: irritated Current Music: bad day by daniel somebody (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 16th, 2006
9:34 am	venting.... ok so i know this has kind of become the theme to my livejournal here lately, but i need to vent, here is a list of things that piss me off/ make me cry/ etc.... 1. best friends having major health probs, my bestest friend in the whole world had cancer surgery this week, and he's in so much pain it makes me hurt for him...he's supposed to be in much less pain by sunday...which i have noticed progress :-) 2. stupid boys...you have them and i have them and they all suck...but this is life and we must get used to it i suppose...HELL NO!!! i will not be subjected to idiocracy 3. closed minded people...i do not like ppl who judge books by their covers, or do not mind to pass judgement upon ppl based soley on how they look, what they believe, or who they choose to or not to love...this is just rediculous!!! live and let live i say! 4. class...i struggle with this one because of my many illnesses...professors usually understand, but this semster i have been more sick then i think i realized...i'm not liking the constant trips to the doctors and the money i have to spend there and on meds... 5. i dont like friends who try to shut you out of their life when they're having problems...i am the kind of person who wants to help you up when your down...is that so wrong???? why do i keep getting the "get real and go away" treatment when all i want is to try and help??? 6. i dont like superficial people...my sister is the queen of these...if you are a redneck, a moron, a jackass, a slut, or any other stereotypical person, dont try to hide it we all know it!!! just be honest and get it over with!!! ok so now to balence this bitchy post out i will now list things that i do like/make me smile/ etc.... 1. my friends...for the select few i let close enough, i love them dearly...this includes each and everyone of you!! you guys are always there when i need you and for that i'm forever indebted to you... 2. the weather, has it not been GORGEOUS the past few weeks!!!! 3. josh...joshy is the strongest most beautiful person i know...he makes everyone smile...i can't wait to see him again and for him to be 100% tip top shape again :-) 4. pink...yes pink makes me happy...i LOVE this color...pink and black make me happy...i love the new spring clothes because it gives me more pink to tie into my black :-D ALWAYS a good thing! 5. chocolate...chocolate is any girls best friend...it makes me smile and it makes me have more energy which definitely makes me happy... 6. and oddly enough weight watchers makes me happy...i love the fact that i am wearing a whole size smaller already...yayyyyy for that...maybe one day i'll get outta the section that says "PLUS" lol anyway thank you for the bitchfest and as always i'm sending you MUCH LOVE!!! Tasha Current Mood: hungry Current Music: black velevet (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
10:12 am	grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr today reallllllllllllllllly sucks!!! already today i have failed a bio lab exam GO ME!!!!!! :-( ohh well...dr ayesh is gonna be mean and ugly to me too today and when he does dammit i am gonna sit in the floor and cry...i can't take anymore bs...grrr!!!! ok phew....poor vicky she has to sit here and listen to me bitch abt my sucky reality...aren't you glad you didnt find me in the computer lab :-p...i dont know what is up with me...i think its PMS but then again i dont think its that...hmm maybe i should talk to the doctor...depression does run in my family...ohh well i will post more later...if you guys have any extra love to spare please leave it for me :-)...i love you guys ever so much!!! :-) holla at me! Current Mood: pissed off (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
9:59 am	happiness, the future, and idiot boys ok so here i sit killing time between bio lab and piano class....i really suck at piano just so you all know...i have decided that boys suck too tho...they really are a waste of time at least at this point in my life...i wanna be the fun loving person i am...not some tied down person...i guess the reason all this came up was bc i was back with my ex matt, and everything was going great, i had even stopped calling him ugly..lol long story...but then he would get mad because i did not want to spend every single night at home talking to him on the phone...ummm HELLO i do have SOME sort of a social life...any way he started getting jealous, and would call work to make sure i was there...wtf does he care he's 100 miles away...i mean i really care about him but i think we are much better friends then we are a couple...besides i dont think i could ever even considered knockin' boots with him...something about redneck sex kinda makes me cringe...what happened to all the fun/sweet/sexy/loving/cute/awesome boys???? ohhhh thats right they are either all 1. gay 2. my bestest friends 3. taken 4. or just plain out of my league ohh well...i wouldn't trade my bestest boys or my bestest girls for that matter for anything in the world!!! josh is my will, aj is my jack, mb is my karen, and i get to be grace...it really does seem to fit the scheme of my life...hmmm yeah i would DEFINITELY make one hell of a sitcom :-D i wonder if there is a network out there dumb enough to buy the pilot to my life???? wow i definitely feel better now that i have gotten all that bitchiness off my chest...you guys are the bestest friends a girl could have...i LOVE every single one of you!!! it is almost time to go back up to boone and look for an apartment...gotta live somewhere and it most certainly will not be in a dorm w/ donald's sister...i am not going to be anyones babysitter!!!! i think i really am ready for the next chapter of my life...i'm ready to finish up my degree, and get it together for the future, you know find a job, have my own classroom, teaching and learning with my students...i really think my crazy stage in life is over, its time to grow up, and its WAY past time for me to leave the nest :-) i think i really am going to love this teaching thing! i have spent every afternoon for the past couple of weeks being a volunteer assistant for a kindergarten class at edneyville...those kids are the greatest and they come up with the cutest things!!! i cant wait to be a "growned up" as one of the kids put it :-D Current Mood: silly Current Music: Before He Cheats --Carrie Underwood (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
9:54 am	*sigh* life for me is crazy here lately...and i feel like i'm the one being left out of it...you ever felt like you have just completely lost control of your destiny??? thats totally how i feel right now!!! i mean something has happened in my best friends life that totally changed their reality...how could i miss that...really makes me feel like a shitty friend :-( i dont know what happened yet but i am going to find out this afternoon...this kind of stuff keeps happening i totally miss everything and then feel bad afterward bc i might could have done something to help ya know?...i think i'm going to go now bc i dont like ppl to see me cry and since the lab is not the most private place ever...i LOVE you ALL and always help me stay informed or if you see me losing my grip slap me or something!!! holla back! Current Mood: worried Current Music: i couldnt hear music right now...too much on my mind (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 26th, 2006
7:11 am	i get around.... create your own visited countries map or vertaling Duits Nederlands create your own visited states map or check out these Google Hacks. Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
11:06 am	ehhhh ok so i didn't succeed to well in my quest to keep this thing updated :-p....but thats only because not a lot has happened that is worth talkin about...hmmm lets see...its been a crappy couple of days for me...my family is fighting non-stop, my mom is still treating me like second best and then theres work...i hate it like i have no intellectual need there all i do is say "thank you for calling your hendersonville home depot this is tasha how can i helpyou??....sure just one second i'll transfer you" wtf kind of job is that???? i hate hate hate it...i dont know ever since mom gave me the shaft for ashleigh the other AFTER ashleigh had beat the crap out of her ihave been depressed...i'm just not in a happy place...i miss being on my own, i miss being in love, i miss having a social life, i miss being who i really am, i'm tired of this "perfect angel" facade i'm forced to live at home...i just keep telling myself three months and i'll be back on my own...i dont know its hard...i mean i try so hard to make everyone including myself happy, but in the end i'm the only one left unhappy...i miss the days when my family supported me in whatever endeavor i chose, i miss the days when i could be happy to be the person they want me to be...but now when i try to do that i feel trapped, like a clausterphobic person in a mosh pit...i think that's why i keep having these emotional bouts and panic attacks...**SIGH** i just wanna be happy :-/ to be happy tho means i'm going to have to say kiss my ass to what my family wants and in the mean time piss them all off and that'll just leave me all alone...all alone being myself, but yet still all alone...so what is better? to be happy and alone or to be unhappy and cared for?? life is so complicated...i hate being a grown up...what happened to the days when my biggest worry was catching boy cooties...lol boy cooties...thats not even a worry these days...no boys= no threat of cooties :-p well i guess you guys are prolly tired of my rant and rave on why life sucks lol so i guess i'll stop here and say love and peace and etc :-) Current Mood: worried Current Music: tippy tappy of keyboard in this teensy tiny lab :-p (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
9:54 am	its almost friday!!!! ok so here goes day 2 of tasha trying to be better about updating you ppl on her life :-)...lol although not much happens really....hmmmm lets see i went to work yesterday and had to make up projects to do so that i wouldn't be COMPLETELY bored....but honestly incomplete boredom is just as bad as complete....ehhh well what can ya do??? totally slept through my alarm this morning...missed the gym and was late for my first lab of the semester...boy aren't i off to a great start...of course david davis felt sorry for me when i told him my car didn't want to start in my sweetest most helpless girl voice....which wasn't exactly a lie either...it moaned and groaned alllll morning as if to say "WTF??? why are you making me move in the frigid weather???" but once i bitch slapped it into submission all was good :-)...got work tonite and then maybe some gym time???? maybe???? i'm also considering some salsa lessons but i'm kind of afraid my big behonkus might be too jiggly for that quite yet :-p who knows tho...dont most latin women have some wiggle n jiggle goin on??? HAHA ok ok now i'm babbling again...so i'm OUT!!! Lots of love! Current Mood: mellow Current Music: Unwritten--Natasha Beddingfield (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
11:17 am	blah ever notice how redundant my subject lines have been??? wow hmmm....lol i think i need a life...one that is not as busy as this one...i haven't posted in a million years but for me life is still the same...school work school work....except now we've added gym to the mix...yes thats right this girlie has become addicted to the gym...not doing much for the figure which i know is the real point but i love the adrenaline rush...who needs sex when you've got good old fashioned working out to get that rush...i feel like i am in a rut...i dont know where i'm going hell i dont even know where i'm at...how can i figure out who i am??? i'm 21 years old and still dont have a grasp on who i am...is that bad??? donald had to drop out of school because of some family stuff...i'm proud of him for stepping up and being the man his family needs right now...but i am also kinda melancholy about the whole thing...my days will be far less entertaining without him...ohh well the river of life flows right on....on a funnier note...with my whole "i dont really know myself" crisis i decided to try my hand at song writing to find out if i was good at that...from this experience i gathered that i'm meant to PERFORM music not to write it...i will post some of my pittiful writing for you guys...be prepared to giggle hell i might even get a good hearted GUFFAW outta some of ya...ohh and by the way i have decided its fun to be single but it might be more fun if i had a boy so ppl gimme the hookup lol...yeah i know thats silly too...can't go looking for love....blah blah....HAH i'm not looking for love....i'm looking for someone to chill with...you sillies...i'm still to young to settle...but if i find love one day that HOORAH for that :-p ok well now i'm just rambling so i'm going to go...leaves the love ppl!!! ~~~goofy song below~~~ hold on to me, even when you're dying to be free stay with me for just one night and then you will see just what you mean to me baby please dont leave me just hold my hand let me make you understand why my heart just can't let go you are the one with the key to my heart you are the one keeps me from falling apart so baby please... just hold on to me even when you're dying to be free stay with me for just one more night and you will see just what you mean to me I love your laugh i love your smile i just wanna take a chance on our romance dont you know that you're the one who holds me tight even when you're gone you make my life a song so baby.. hold on to me even when you're dying to be free stay with me for just one night and then you will see just what you mean to me ohhhhhh just what you mean to me... HAHAHA i know very laughable...ok this one is not a new one just one i found in the "vaults" of previous attempts when i was inlove w/ my british rock star stee...ok so then he was just a welsh alcoholic but he was MY welsh alcoholic :-p..any way this song makes no sense lyrically or rhythmically....thank God for ppl like A Perfect Circle and Tool and Martina McBride and many many others who can music just for ppl like me :-D Aight on the real you... I'M OUT!!! Current Mood: quixotic Current Music: The Noose --A perfect circle (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
9:06 pm	mb said i never post so in order to prove her wrong.... hmmm well ok i dont really know what to type here except for that i feel crappy today...any girlies would understand...home depot still sucks but i loves the ppl i work with....i'm trying to find my way back to boone in january but if not be ready for me in may you crazies!!!!!! i really miss being up there....i dont know maybe i'm twisted....ohhh well bedtime:-) Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: aerosmith-crazy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
11:38 am	whoot whoot for hottness :-) i have recently learned that i am automatically a hottie just bc all my friends are extrememly hott ppl :-) so thanks you hott ppl :-) classes started today and i'm getting worried bc so far all my classes say tons and tons of hw and study and outside events required which SUCKS!! i do have job ppl :-( but ehhh so is life...i miss my boonies soooooo much and can't wait to see you guys soon!!!! ohhh and mb LESS THAN 2 MONS!!!! Current Mood: recumbent Current Music: the beat beat beat of whatever this boy beside me is playin (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 17th, 2005
1:23 am	HAHAHA FUCK YOU HOME DEPOT!!!! I QUIT HAHAHAHA LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW :-D Current Mood: indescribable (Comment on this)